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Monday, July 31, 2006

Hmph...

Yea... College... I'm not too enthusiastic about going... Seems like its gonna take too long... I hope the time flys by (and I pass)... Maybe I'll get lucky and win the lottery or something in my first year and quit, head off to Tokyo and go to university there... Seems at this point nothing short of stumbling into a lot of money is going to get me there when I want to be.

In the meantime I'm looking closer to reality, considering getting a reasonable used car and fixing it up, putting a killer sound system in it and in-car computer.... That wont be till next summer, cause I was counting on going to Japan and never bothered to get my license.

Bleh... On one hand I'm excited about moving, the other I'm disappointed about Japan....
Oh well, got stuff planned... unofficial launch of my internet radio station is some time in September, official is two weeks (?) I think before christmas. School starts early September, got a lot of packing to do...
>.< .. cant think about school without getting sad about japan.
wish my luck would change..

Sunday, July 30, 2006

College, I guess

Thinking and more thinking, Tokyo is gonna have to wait, I guess I can be 25 and still act like a kid over there... Cause that's about how long it will be before I'm there, absolute soonest if I am going to college..... Time is really the only thing I don't like about staying here, I feel like I'm missing out by choosing to stay here...
with that, don't be too surprised if I change my mind again, maybe even half way through first year of college :-/

So, I'll be talking to someone tomorrow morning....
this means almost more mess than if I didn't go to college here and even if I went and got a loan and booted it for Tokyo, I swear I'd have less loose ends in my plan in my mind.... Makes me wish I could just get up, and go. No chance to look back...

I was really looking forward to celebrating my 20th birthday in Tokyo too!... 20 is the age of majority in Japan, so there's a huge party held by most cities, and friends/families for people turning 20 that year, on the 2nd Monday in January. What made it such an exciting notion for me is that my 20th birthday is the day before the 2nd Monday in January...

Bleh, ya, I can see this being a disaster tomorrow morning, I'll be on the phone with the college rep and half way through I'll say "Fuck it, I'm calling the airport *click*"

Its just such a hard decision... Modern Japanese lifestyle is EVERYTHING I've ever wanted. As a kid I knew little to nothing about Japan and I still felt like I belonged there. Its eating me up inside to write this saying I'm going to college here... I DON'T want to do it. I want to get off my fat ass and just GO.

Guess I'll post more insanity later tonight or tomorrow morning...

Saturday, July 29, 2006

Reconsidering

Still rethinking, it has NOT been my family's foolish advice that's got me reconsidering what I'm doing, when... It's being lonely...
Not having a girl to hang around with and well, do what girls do, it's taking its toll on me. I'm reconsidering going to college, just so I can live relaxed and have a girlfriend. To not have to worry about money.... Because I'd have a degree, I'm almost guaranteed work that way (well, most places other than here, still have to move once before Tokyo...)

I'm forcing myself to have made my decision by midday Monday. Right now it looks like I'm crawling back to the college here... I cant believe I almost feel grateful that mom told the rep that called to give me a few days to think about it rather than make my decision by yesterday....

Anyway, probably going swimming at the pool tomorrow, post again tomorrow night for anyone reading to find out if it will be 1 year or 5+ years before I move to Tokyo :/

Thursday, July 27, 2006

Tokyo U... Here I come!

Well I looked for advice, and the most dominant thing that I was told was "do what your heart tells you to." ... I had no idea what I wanted to do. So I went outside and wandered around thinking.
I decided that I refuse to give in, I'm going to follow my dreams, and go to Japan before I'm too old to enjoy it.

So the plan is to go to the capitol of this province (St. John's) and work until I have enough money to move + start off, learning Japanese as I go.
Then off to Tokyo, working and studying to start, then off to Tokyo U.... Whatever I have to do, I'm determined I'm going to that university.

Now, finding a job... I've got from now until next Friday left on my current job, that will leave me with about $500 to get on my feet in the city. Not planning on actually getting an apartment until I've been accepted somewhere for work.

Until then, that's all for now.

ugly decision

When i got home from work today i got a message from the college. I can get in, as an engineer, but i have to take ANOTHER year to get in, because they dont like that the school system here screwed me over and gave me 1 mark less than i needed in 2 courses, and 4 marks less than i needed in another. That brings the time before i move to tokyo up to 5 years OR MORE.. probably 6 or 7, by then i probably wont want to leave my job im in, because it would probably suit my degree and pay well.

I REALLY want to move to tokyo.

So i have a decision i have to make before tomorrow. Take the position at the college and be stuck here for no one knows how long.... or stay here, move to the city, work for 1 year maybe 2, living a very cheap lifestyle (not hard for me, in the city theres no need for a car, all i need is a small apartment, food, water, power, and internet. No need for TV... the internet can do that nowadays for cheap or free ... legally too.
This is gonna take some thinking, sucks that i only have tonight to make the decision. I'll post the decision tomorrow, no insights on what im doing yet, both options seem good to me, im just leaning away from one or the other every time i come up with a con for one, theres a pro right after it, on both sides of the scales.

Tuesday, July 25, 2006

Waiting

Haven't updated in a while, been out and around. Not having much fun, but doing more than lazing around the house for the last bit of time I'm living in this town for.

Got my marks back from my exams, and final course marks because of the exams. Needed a 60 in english (I know, wtf, english?! engineering?!) and I needed to have passed my physics. Now I'm told the college wont care for going just a little below.... I got a 56 in english and a 49 in physics. Waiting on a letter from the college saying if I'm in or not. If I am, great. If I'm not, they can take their 49 and shove it up their ass. I refuse to write a supplementary, and I don't care if I'm not into college.
My plan if I'm not in is to work here on the island until I have enough money to go to Tokyo, + enough in emergency funds to get back to Canada if I screw up.
But I'm pretty sure I'm in. In either case, I'll know in a few days... cant wait to move :D

Saturday, July 01, 2006

Bored

When i decided to change my life, my name, everything seemed real, where it didnt before. Now it doesnt feel real again, Not sure if the move to Burin for college is going to make it all feel real again for long, or if i'll be feeling this way untill i move to Tokyo in 3 - 4 years.